Episode 43| NNN

Hey! Hi! It’s me MommaQueue. I welcome you to Moments in Queue.
In Queue Today: Hi Why > Black Business > Who do Hoodoo > Are you Kinky or Knot > and Clear my Queue

Happy No 🥜 November! I thought I had a lot to talk about but thank goodness I am able to deliver you nutty flavor in less than 30 minutes. I am going on the ledge to tell you about edging. Give you the history of Halloween and how I did my dumb dinner for my ancestors. Remember me in my CoCo movie singing voice. I answer my first ever listener email. Keep ‘em coming y’all. Just don’t call me girl. As promised below is Donnell writes social media info.

Black Business
Donnell A. McLachlan, M.A.
Link tree: https://linktr.ee/donnellwrites
Tik tok: donnellwrites 

Chapters

• 0:34 Christianity, Black Business, and Queer Liberation
• 6:32 Day of the Dead vs All Saints Day
• 21:52 Discussing Medication and Communication in Relationships

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:34

M-O-W-M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-W-E, that's my name, mama Q. M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e-d-w-e, that's my name. Mama Q, say it faster or slow, don't really matter, though the U-E gets a minute. Tongue tizzy yo, hey, kinda dizzy bro. Who is she? Mama Q? Mama gave birth little waste, no girth, 60 years ago. No, I don't want. Mo Q is a line and I tried to align this double end. Tundra petty, haha, it's one of my modules. Mama Q, I'm the first one in and the first one out. Memphis Tend to Key is my whereabouts. Duncan Plain Mayn, saying stick it to one topic. I reply your mind is very myopic with Mama Q. You need better optist picking and choosing to copy me. Are you inspired? Uh, definitely. No need to whisper gracefully. I like it better off key. Now let's see. Do you remember me? M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e, d-a-w-e, that's my name, mama Q, hey, hi, it's me. Mama Q, I welcome you to Moments in Q. In Q today, hawaii, black business, hudu, hudu. Are you kinky or not? And clear my Q, hawaii. Give you the green of the day and I'm explaining the why of this episode. Happy no-nut November. In this episode I will talk about edging, since we are all practicing not nothing this month, right, right next to you, by my Halloween ritual. You know I'm going to talk about Christians, more specifically Catholics and Methodists that venerate their ancestors during this time keeping with Christianity. I want to talk about amazing man that uses his words to help others with decolonizing their Christian beliefs. Lastly, I will introduce a new segment, if you didn't already peep it enjoy Black business. I highlight a black business to bring awareness and my experience with said business. Unless I say it, it isn't a paid ad. I am open to paid ads, but I definitely want to highlight black businesses. There's enough money for all of us to get it. The Ota hip hop from Monday was not only a thought at 6.45 am, but it was inspired by today's black business.

Speaker 1: 3:26

I follow Donnell Wright on TikTok and let me tell you the levels to him is shea magnifique part of my French, now more of a Spanish speaker, so for some reason I will turn any foreign language, unfortunately, to Spanish, unless someone pronounced it first. My roommate said that to me when she tried to teach me Yoruba in the early 2000s. I should have kept up with it. Anyway, my first introduction to Donnell on TikTok was him defending Jasmine Garden from an army chaplain trying to come for her admitting what most of us already know Christianity and the Bible don't make any damn sense. Not that Jasmine needs help, she can hold her own, but per usual, some men go after women versus other men. I went through his TikTok playlist in such a breath of fresh air, y'all Um lost my place. Anyway, he talks about deconstructing Christianity and hip hop, which to me that sounds like anomaly. Seriously and jokingly, because real Bible thumpers are against hip hop. But allegedly Reverend Al Green was abusive. Allegedly Cref flow dollar was a scammer, using the tithes into the storehouse Bible verse, then changing his mind but not reimbursing the congregation he allegedly scammed. At the time I never did hear of anyone, especially a cis-hetero black man respect pronouns speak about black love as a husband, without including the struggle of that so many of us are used to, and writing a paper asking does Jesus like black churches?

Speaker 1: 5:08

Let me tell you about Donnell. His TikTok says he is a writer, theologian, husband, storyteller for love and liberation. On his link tree he has meditation playlists and his thesis playlists available via Apple and Spotify. His thesis paper, which I had a pleasure to read so I can properly advertise, includes Queering the Black Church a social, historical exploration of and prophetic witness to the Black Church regarding the black LGBTQ community towards solving the identity crisis. Now, this was written in 2019. Here's the abstract it says.

Speaker 1: 5:45

In this work, I engage ongoing issues of homophobia in the Black Church. I explore what are the main causes for the vitriol towards the LGBT community in the Black Church In many cases, why doesn't thinking around black humans' rights movements, sometimes supported by the Black Church, such as Black Lives Matter, always include queer lives. What impact did colonialism have on black folks' communal understanding of gender? As I unpack briefly my historical and sociological findings regarding these questions, I also ponder on what can the Black Church do to become more queer-friendly, affirming loving and, lastly, what could be the future of the Black Church if it does not.

Speaker 1: 6:33

So for me, the paper resonated a lot because I was someone, as you all have probably known, that attended church, but I wasn't like a Bible thumper or a holier-than-thou type of person, but I also wasn't a CME either. So a little bit of both, but as I got older, cme more so Easter, anyway, I remember growing up I was listening to the chatter on social media about homosexuality as a sin and, of course, attention to church. So that's why I really enjoyed reading the paper because, like I just said, some of the things that I had thought of he was able to say and it's so cool that he wrote about this because he, like I said earlier, is a theologian, so that means he went to seminary school and it's like what. That's what you wrote, like I don't know. I think that's pretty cool. So there are other links and a host of books to help you decolonize Christianity, if you desire, via his link tree. Now, I don't even think he is 40. And now, yes, I know age is not equate to maturity, but I'm just so proud to read accomplishments of younger people, seriously, because back in my days, and even now, I didn't have the support or strength to loudly question, write or articulate what I was feeling. I'm glad there are others, especially the younger ones, saying fuck that, this is what I feel. Minimi's godmother, who is about two years younger than I, said the same thing about my Minimi. We are both proud that Minimi can unfriend people that are no longer for her. We're growing up. The godmother and I weren't confident enough. So I encourage you to support and or follow this man if you haven't already, especially if you're a fan of hip hop, because the way Donnell speaks, he might just be a Dr MLK in the making. As always, donnell's info will be in the show notes. Thank you, hudu. Hudu, I get to the root of hudu, conjure up thoughts that pop into my mind about spirituality. Come on, get this work.

Speaker 1: 8:38

According to the dayofthedeadholiday website, today is the conclusion of Day of the Dead, dia de los Miracos. It is a two-day holiday that reunites the living and dead. Families create ofrendas, which is offerings to honor their departed family members that have passed. These altars are decorated with bright yellow marigold flowers, photos of the departed and the favorite foods and drinks of the ones being honored. The offerings are believed to encourage visits from the land of the dead, as the departed souls hear their prayers, smell their foods and join in the celebration. November 1st at 12 am is Dia de los Angelitos, day of the Children. November 2nd at 12 noon is Dia de los Diflentos, days of the Dots, and November 2nd at 12 am is Dia de los Miracos.

Speaker 1: 9:27

You probably are familiar with the movie Coco and or people wearing calvaloras. Look, saibua y'all. I know. Forgive me if my Spanish is off. I have not been on Duolingo in some months, okay, but anyway, you probably are familiar with Coco and or people wearing calvaloras, which translates to skulls Sugar skulls are decorated and given as ofrendas. Do you remember in the movie Coco the Marigolds? Well, they are believed to be the pathway that the spirits used to find their ofrendas.

Speaker 1: 10:00

Day of the Dead is not the quote unquote mix in holiday, like it is sometimes mistaken to be because of the timing of the year. The two holidays originated with similar afterlife beliefs but are very different. In martin day, halloween began as a Celtic festival where people would light bonfires and wear costumes toward off-goals, but has recently turned into a tradition of costume wearing and trick or treating. Decorating your house with spiders and bats and wearing scary costumes is not done in most parts of Mexico. For more information about that, you can Google. So, believe it or not, mexicans are not the only ones to celebrate the day of the dead. It is a widely celebrated holiday all over the world. In fact, many religious communities celebrate All Souls Day, which is also known as All Saints Day, during the same time as Day of the Dead. The act of honoring the dead is widely celebrated around the world, but Day of the Dead is unique in its traditions the ofrenda, the meaning of life and death, the use of capillaries, the style influenced by La Cartrina and, more recently, the festivals in the streets.

Speaker 1: 11:09

Christianity is a religious example of Day of the Dead. Methodists and Catholics are the only Christian denominations that I learned that have a Day of the Dead. Other denominations, such as the Protestant branches, think the acts that I'm going to describe are demonic. And for some reason, other denominations again, such as Protestants, which includes your apostles, no apostolic your Baptists, those type of people, no surprise. But they think that those acts that I'm about to describe to y'all is demonic and for some odd reason, they don't consider Catholics. Are any other denominations similar to Catholic Sanctism are true Christianity due to their use of saints? But that is for another time. I will use Britannica to explain these days.

Speaker 1: 11:59

All Saints Day, also called as All Holos Day, holomos or Feast of All Saints, in the Christian Church, a day commemorating all the saints of the church, both known and unknown, who have tamed heaven. It is celebrated on November 1st in the Western churches and on the first Sunday after Pentecost in the Eastern churches. In Roman Catholicism, the feast is usually a holy day of obligation. It is part of the three day Tredum dedicated to remembering the dead, beginning with Halloween, october 1st, followed by All Saints Day, november 1st and All Souls Day, november 2nd. The year of the origin is unknown. Halloween descriptions come from historycom.

Speaker 1: 12:45

The tradition originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samahand, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes toward off-ghosts. In the 8th century, pope Gregory III exonated November 1st as a time to honor all saints. Soon, all Saints Day incorporated some of the traditions of Samahand. The evening before was known as All Holos Eve and later Halloween. Over time, halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick or treating, carving jack-o-lanterns, festive gatherings done in costumes and eating treats.

Speaker 1: 13:20

Oh, I'm sorry, I pronounced this wrong. It's called Sawin, sorry, so Sawin. Galakbit Gaelic. There we go, a Gaelic word pronounced So-win is a pagan religious festival originating from an ancient Celtic spiritual tradition. It is usually celebrated from October 31st to November 1st to welcome in the horrors and usher in the darker, the quote-unquote the dark half of the year. Celebrants believe that the barriers between the physical world and the spirit world breaking down, saw in allowance more interaction between humans and denizens of the other world. The tradition of quote-unquote dumb supper, in which food was consumed by Celebrants but only after inviting ancestors to join in Giving the families a chance to interact with the spirits until they left. Following dinner, children would play games to entertain the dead, while adults would update the dead on the past year's news that night, doors and windows might be left open for the dead to come in and eat cakes that have been left for them.

Speaker 1: 14:25

Now, unfortunately, I was unable to find out if who do practitioners have a specific way to celebrate Halloween, similar to what I just described with some people in Mexico and, of course, with Catholics and Methodist. But I'm gonna tell y'all what I do for my Halloween rituals for my ancestors. Okay, so I cooked dinner, pour our libations and have a dumb supper. I started this a few years ago. It might not seem any different than what I normally do on the day-to-day, but I put an extra spin on it with different color candles to give them the energy that they desire, which Goes with the color of the candle. So, for example, if it's red or orange, that could mean healing. Now, it's not the same ritual each time and, to be honest, a lot of things I do vary on their needs and what I feel called to do During this time of the dumb supper.

Speaker 1: 15:19

Before I began, per usual, I thank them, giving them their offerings, like the candles, and being silent. Now, normally when I'm at the altar, as you know, I talked to them about giving gratitude, which is pretty cool because, again, that's what did a little smirk those, some of those people would do like I said. They, like I said earlier, they would give updates of what happened in the world. Um, so I do that. Um, again, I'm not going to say daily or weekly, but I at least try to update my ancestors about things that's going on in the world so they can be in the know. And I'm pretty sure I told you all that. So, anyway, I give my offerings and I go about my day.

Speaker 1: 15:57

I like to keep things simple, k-i-s-s, and to me simple or grandiose doesn't matter. As long as they are taken care of, happy and healing, I am on the right track. Are you kinky or not? I'm a proud kinkster of the BDSS community. Let me tell you about this lifestyle to see if you want to come over to the dock side. We got candles, all right. So Eshin is very April Pro during the month of no-nud November.

Speaker 1: 16:28

According to Urban Dictionary, eshin is an act of someone holding their orgasm and then releasing it, which leads into more pleasure. I have tried to esch during no-nud November. I never make it to November 30th, I mean December 1st. Matter of fact, I orgasm. Yesterday thanks to my boo thing. He knew it was no-nud November. I told him it was, I reminded him and y'all I tried. I promised I'd try but we hadn't seen each other in like five days. So 11-49 yesterday I fucking came. I didn't even last half the day. All right. Now I do know of people that can age. I mean not age, of course people can age, but age and according to them it makes the nut that more satisfying and stronger when they can nut on command from their top, their dumb or their dumb-a. Sometimes during intimate time with my boo thing. I do a countdown for him and he always come after one. It's cute to me.

Speaker 1: 17:40

There is a man in my former local BDSM community that edged himself for masturbation purposes and would not have penis and vagina sex. I think he made it to like 21 days. He was like when he came, y'all, imagine a scene from scary movie where the nut was so powerful, the woman crashing to the wall or the ceiling. Look, she crashed into something. I ain't seen that movie in about forever. Go on YouTube. Okay, in this actual story he told me that the woman, she was a toaster strudel. You get it If not a dictionary. So when I was with my sir I could not come until he commanded me to and I would get so fucking aggravated because he would stop spanking me or coyotes when he knows I'm there, like really dude. But when I was given permission it was satisfying.

Speaker 1: 18:35

Speaking of orgasm to now. That is also edging, so you can use both terms interchangeably. I encourage you I really do, even though I know y'all won't do it but try edging. But make sure you tell your partners first, even if they're a sadist, but make sure you tell them about it because you know we got to communicate and they have to consent to it. I am pretty sure 99.9% of them won't like it, but hey, if they do, let me know. And because I found out, clearly you can send me listener emails. So stay tuned to the next segment and I will read my first listener email disaster and winter GPU, esa, intel, apex.

Speaker 1: 19:46

I never had anyone send me a listener email. I read it still in disbelief, like this gotta be a setup. Then I looked at the data and said, hmm, okay, let me give it a go. This email is long as fuck. This podcast episode, I feel, is already long-winded and y'all be having short attention spans. Therefore, I will give you the meat and potatoes of this email Before I continue. If anybody ever reaches out to me, please, please, please, do not call me a girl. I went over that in the first podcast episode.

Speaker 1: 20:21

Alright, so, in summation, this listener wants advice on talking to their partner who has a belly button, kink or fetish. I'm not quite sure which one. Both words are used interchangeably, but there is a difference. Anyway, the partner wants to lick, touch, caress, insert items such as ice and play with the person's belly button. Next Thursday's episode, which will be two weeks from now, I will do a part two and talk about belly button fetishes, because this is hella interesting to me. The problem is, the writer's belly button is sensitive, so when their partner plays in that area, they don't like it. As you can imagine, this could potentially cause a riff in the relationship, which I get it. You want your partner to be happy and enjoy exploring and getting off. However, if you say that you don't like it and or it causes you pain, they might not take your response. Well, who wants to intentionally cause pain to their partner? Hopefully, no one. And also, when I just said that you know, I know you BDSM. People don't mind causing pain, but you get it right and you also don't want to feel like you're being judged for enjoying this not so common kink. Well, here's my response. Finally, I know, but you know me, I love to give details, all right. So, friendly reminder, I am not a medical doctor, I'm not a relationship expert, nor do I possess any qualifications to give you the end all be all answer. Please refer to my intro on my podcast. Now that I got that shit out of way.

Speaker 1: 21:52

Medication is essential to any relationship, so I believe you got to tell your partner that area of your body sensitive. If you want to and if you can afford to, maybe go to the doctor to see if there's anything you can do to desensitize that area, ensure that it's not a serious medical concern as well, then tell your partner that, due to the sensitivity of that area, you don't particularly enjoy the play. It is definitely not them, but it's you. From here, if you want, you can come to a compromise with your partner or just say that this area is red, and in the BDSM community red means no. If you have a compromise, ensure there is a safe word attached to the play, like a word you would never say during sex, like red or pineapples. Once you say for it, all play must end.

Speaker 1: 22:40

Your partner can also check in on you during the time by asking for a color. Green means keep going, I'm enjoying the fuck out of this. Red means check on me to see where I am. And red means full stop in transmission. The way both of you can get a little play, that way both of you can get a little play. But once you start hurting, you got to stop, not only for you because, like you say this irritated, but also for your partner, because again, I don't know your partner, but I am hoping that again your partner does not want to have you in pain. All right. So now, if you don't want to do belly button play, that's fine too. You have a right. It's your body. Again, let your partner know that this fetish is not for you. It's again due to the fact that your belly button is sensitive, and you can always find alternative ways to enjoy play together, if possible. Well, I've talked long enough. Thank you out.