Episode 46| ASMR Assimilation

Hey! Hi! It’s me MommaQueue. I welcome you to Moments in Queue ASMR episode. In Queue today: 60 seconds of heaven > What’s going on > it’s giving > Let’s get it popping> and croak on the joke. 

Trigger warning in this episode cause I will talk about Cassie. Capitialism in my opinion plays a part in determining people’s morel, ethical, and financial codes. If any exist. I shout the ancestors for the waves of energy they been moving starting with a recap of my Thanksgiving. Can’t make this ish up. Enjoy. And have you thrown away your food yet? 

Chapters

• 0:34 ASMR Episode and Thanksgiving Recap
• 8:00 Designated Drivers and Thanksgiving Reflections
• 17:41 Protecting Energy During the Holiday Season
• 27:03 Prejudice, Job Expectations, College Seminar
• 34:06 Issues of Consent and Victim Blaming
• 47:24 Seeking Help and Avoiding Abuse

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:34

M-O-W-M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-W-E. That's my name, mama Q. M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e-d-w-e, that's my name. Mama Q, say it faster or slow, don't really matter, though the U-E gets a minute. Tongue tizzy yo, hey, kinda dizzy bro. Who is she? Mama Q? Mama gave birth little waste, no girth, 60 years ago. No, I don't want. Mo Q is a lion and I tried to align this double end. Tundra petty, haha, it's one of my modules, Mama Q, I'm the first one in and the first one out. Memphis Tend to Key is my whereabouts, duncan Plain Mayn, saying stick it to one topic. I reply your mind is very myopic with Mama Q. You need better optist picking and choosing to copy me. Are you inspired? Definitely. No need to whisper gracefully. I like it better off key. Now let's see. Do you remember me? M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e D-W-E. That's my name, Mama Q. M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e D-W-E. That's my name, mama Q.

Speaker 2: 1:53

Hey, hi, it's me, Mama Q. I welcome you to Moments in Q ASMR episode. In this episode, I would titillate your ears with my voice and random sounds In Q today, 60 seconds of having what's going on. It's giving. Let's get it popping and croak on the joke. P-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e, d-w-e, d-w-e-c-d-w-e, z-a-p-o-r-s-e-g that's my name, mama Q.

Speaker 2: 3:34

What's going on in this segment? I tell you what's been going on in my life since last episode. Y'all. I just realized that I did not give you 60 seconds in heaven when I had my Monday episode two weeks ago. I have no idea how I missed it. So that's why, if you were counting, you receive one minute and 11 seconds in heaven. My bad, and I'm still trying to find a musical break from Mondays that I enjoy. So be patient with me, because this Virgo likes perfection, okay, alright.

Speaker 2: 4:10

So today is Monday, so you probably should have thrown away your Thanksgiving food. Now, I'm not judging you if you haven't, because I do understand how that food can be good and food is expensive. Okay, but just be sure that that you don't eat it too much longer, because I don't want you to get food poisoning. Again, I ain't judging you. I get it. I get it, but just be cognizant and careful. Okay, so my Thanksgiving, seriously, I was thankful for my granny invited my partner to her house for Thanksgiving and let me tell y'all my granny don't want anybody over her house unless it's family. Like anybody, I think she's never met any of my exes well, except my high school ex, and that was only because we went to the same church, like the rest of, I can recall, if she's ever met them, because she don't like everybody at her house. She just met my sister, ashley. She just met her husband because, again, she don't want nobody over her house if it's not family. So I was grateful, thankful and surprised by that.

Speaker 2: 5:26

So I had to run some errands before we went over to granny house to see the cowboys went. Whoa, whoa. So many of me does have her fucking driver's license. So I had to drive her to other family members houses. First I had to drive her to my aunt that I don't care too much for. So, yeah, boo thing and I were in the car. We did not go inside because, like I don't like her, I don't like her husband, who is my uncle by marriage. We don't get along. It makes no sense for me to be there, makes no sense for my partner to even meet them. So, yeah, but it worked out because the woman that gave birth to me, she came through and I got to see my two nieces, whoop, whoop, and I was able to take pictures with them and check on them all while in the truck no, we weren't even in the driveway, oh, in the car, on the street. Then from there we drove to my granny house.

Speaker 2: 6:19

Now, my granny is slick y'all. What we got there she was like your auntie cooked and I was like, oh, are you serious? Because that particular auntie cannot cook at all. I don't know how you can fuck up ground beef, but that's how much of a bad cook she is. So, granny, she saved it by saying but I helped tell her how to cook, dictate and stuff. I was like, okay, so all in all, the food was good. My boo thing and me and me said the macaroni cheese wasn't it, but everything else was good. So that particular auntie, I'm proud of her. She did an amazing job. Okay, she did so much better.

Speaker 2: 7:05

And let's see again we saw the cowboys at one. We them boys, yep, yep, yep. So I don't know if you know this, but my partner, he's been a Cowboys fan ever since the 90s and I've been a fan since 2022. And I found out when I went over to my dad's house which was the next and last house of my Thanksgiving drive is that my dad him, and a lot of his siblings majority of them are Cowboys fan, except the few stealers, stragglers. So that's pretty cool, and so my boo thing was teasing me. It was like that's why your father is a good man, and my granny claimed that the woman that gave birth to me is a Cowboys fan, and so my boo thing know that I'm not a fan of the woman that gave birth to me, so he was like I knew your mom was awesome.

Speaker 1: 7:52

And.

Speaker 2: 7:53

I was like what the fuck ever? So, anyway, I also was drinking, because my boo thing doesn't drink. He was my designated driver. Hey, and speaking of designated drivers, even though this is not the episode of it's given, I do want to encourage y'all to ensure that you please, please, please, get a designated driver, okay, especially during the holidays. I mean, I want you to always have one, but definitely during the holidays. Please, please, please get one. And when I mean designated driver, your TT, I don't mean the person who's the soberest out of all the people, that's drunk, like somebody who really has been drinking water and or juice the entire time. Y'all been at the bar, okay, and stuff. Because I would like for you to be able to get to enjoy your holidays, your friends giving, your gals giving and stuff like that, or New Year's Christmas, hanukkah, everything in between, and allow other people to be able to get to see their family members, friends, or even just chill at the house by themselves. I would like for all of us to get safely All right. Now let's see what else.

Speaker 2: 9:02

Oh, so let me go back to the cooking and my granny house. My granny, oh my gosh, she made some sweet potato pond. Now I know I think everybody else call it sweet potato casserole because, like, I've never heard anybody say sweet potato pond. But that's what granny said and that's what I grew up learning what it was, and that shit was banging. She had the sweet potato pie because we don't do that fucking pumpkin pie Whoa, it's not in the dress and was hitting y'all. I cannot cook dressing like my granny at all, trust me, I've tried and it's difficult, and but she did the damn thing and so did the green. So again, shout out to my grandma for still being in her Right mind to be able to tell my auntie they can't cook for shit how to cook Thanksgiving and have it taste just like granny's home cooking. Greatly appreciate that, and so so let's see what else.

Speaker 2: 9:59

Oh yeah, so, speaking of food, I did cook. I cooked on that Friday. But before I talk about that, let me tell you about how bad in my boot thing is. Number one my grandma says something that I be cooking like white folks and I don't like that. Oh, whatever, it did my boo thing. Agree with me? That got out of my nerves. Everybody always has been teasing me forever about being quote-unquote white. But like I grew up eating all this soul food. I like it, but I don't want to cook that shit all the time and I know my strength and weakness, so why would I want to cook it?

Speaker 2: 10:32

Okay, so, um, to make up for the macaroni and cheese that wasn't hidden, I made pulled pork, mac and cheese and normally I get pork butt, but this time I got the shoulder and it was actually good. I Tried to shred it so that I could help with the bull pork and have it evenly within the mac and cheese, but didn't work out that way. So, but my mac and cheese, for the first time in forever, was hidden, y'all. Like it was creamy, like it was supposed to be. It was that wop wop, that macaroni cheese, you know that was talked about in the song. So I was so happy and I made baked Alaska. Now, my bull thing loves himself some desserts. I don't care too much for him and my mini meat is a baker, but she put it in my hands to bake and I did very well with the baked Alaska. So, if you don't know, baked Alaska is basically an ice cream cake with the outside shell of meringue and y'all.

Speaker 2: 11:35

When we tried to make the baked Alaska Some years ago, it was not hitting at all. It wasn't. And so I said, okay, christmas, I think this was 2018. I was like, okay, what I'm gonna try to do is make it better. So we redid it for Christmas 2018, after the disaster of Thanksgiving, and it was better.

Speaker 2: 11:59

But aside from that, I haven't had meringue, I haven't made homemade meringue, and I was super nervous. So I bought egg whites and I bought an extra carton of Eggs, just as back up plans. I listened when they said make sure the eggs are room temperature, so they helped out a lot. So, as I'm whipping it, whipping it, whipping it, real good, it was starting to turn white, as it should, and I was putting the sugar in slowly but surely. But again, I was nervous as fuck because you know, if you all whip your meringue, it won't go into a soft peaks. So I was nervous, but it worked out. The issue was my bull thing. Love my Mike Foxtrot life. He got the wrong ice cream. It was super, super soft. So even if I just use my torch to torch the meringue ever so slightly, it I'm melted. But hey, he enjoyed it and it was good. I thoroughly enjoyed making it and again, I'm so proud of myself for having like a great Thanksgiving, on saying like the food turned out well, and of course I gave some food to my ancestors and let me tell y'all, oh, the energy has shifted with my ancestors.

Speaker 2: 13:12

Shout out to them, and this is me trying again. I know this is not the segment, but if y'all practice Spirituality where you have to take care your ancestors, please do that and stuff. I say that because, like my ancestors, when I gave them their Thanksgiving meal I'll be it on a Friday they came through with the game through. Let me tell y'all we went to, so light switch is um, at our local zoo, they light up the Area within the zoo and if it's a nocturnal animal, you can see it and they'll give you hot chocolate and all this other stuff. So, check this out. I'm walking with my bull thing. He brought his nephew and I brought my mini me and of course they don't like hanging out with old folks, whatever. So, anyway, they came with us, they separated and I'm just walking and I see $20. I scooped it up.

Speaker 2: 14:03

I was like, shout out to the ancestors and later, I hope you wanted some hot cocoa, but at the zoo we couldn't get the hot cocoa, so we went to this store. We went to. Well, yeah, we went to this one store and it said on Google that it makes cupcake. I mean not cupcakes, I don't know why. I said cupcakes, Hot cocoa, they said they did. And so we went on Google Maps services other restaurant they said they did. So we walked like 275 feet. We get there. They're like we can make it happen, we like what. So we sat down, the dude made us a hot cocoa and not only that, he gave it to us for the free, like what, what, and like my dreams have been coming through and everything.

Speaker 2: 14:48

So, again, the energy shift, with my ancestors so grateful and so thankful and, as I told them and I'm telling y'all, it's not just monetary, with the ancestors that they can help you with its other things, but to me, $20 on the ground, not $1, but $20 on the ground and hot cocoa to me. I felt like that was a sign from them, like either one, again the energy has shifted in a good way, or two. That was some pagan-ass food either way. Either way, I was just so grateful and thankful about it. I know this is a long one, but you'll be okay, I'm almost done.

Speaker 2: 15:24

So I Wanted to like be a little bit vulnerable with y'all, cuz my child will be turning 17 in January and y'all is causing anxiety with me and sadness being because she's my only child and you know I have to let her fly from the house nest Inside joke and also because when you get seven, well, you get a little bit older, you don't want to go need your parents anymore, and so she told me she didn't want anything for Christmas because she can get herself. And like I Couldn't handle it. I was being so emotional because I do know that being overly independent is a dramatic Reaction. Into my knowledge, I haven't given her any trauma within our Mother-daughter relationship and stuff, but y'all, I'm getting emotional. I do have a life in a world outside of my child but like she takes a majority of my time, so her not needing me makes me feel so unloved and I'm thankful that my partner console me. It was like this is a normal step, this is progression, and he said he was like that way his mom God bless her. So, so like I'm happy to know that this is, quote-unquote, normal, but I also am like damn feeling sad about it. But luckily for me I have therapy this week so I get to talk to my therapist about it. So If you are a parent out there and your child is getting older, if you want to, you can like let me know how they make you feel and how you're coping with it. Again, I'm thankful I have my book thing, so I'm not coping and dealing by myself. But yeah, whether you're in a relationship or not, like, how are you coping with your child getting older? Or how did you cope with With your child being a adult and not needing you as much? I'm curious to know. It's given. I'm giving you the encouragement to make it through the week. Let's tackle eating that elephant together, one bite at a time, y'all. I don't know why I'm still doing it, it's given, but here we are Okay.

Speaker 2: 17:42

So During this holiday season, everyone talks about protecting your energy and force in your boundaries, and I encourage you to do that all year round, but definitely during the holiday season. For me, I suffer from seasonal affective disorder, better known, as said, during this time. Now, granted, the years have gotten better since I've been diagnosed therapy Mids, my ancestors all working together but still I get super nervous every year. So I encourage you to please exercise, get vitamin D and stay away from those that can make you sparrow, if you know the oh, they are like your triggers and if you can, because I do know Not everyone has the luxury of being able to be away from people that are trigger-intoxic and not good for their health of any kind. So what else? Oh yeah, also, I want to tell oh wait, I lost my place. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'll bet this holiday season will be a successful holiday season for you.

Speaker 2: 18:48

Also want to tell you about an emotional will. Okay, I went through my notes. Hopefully I ain't repeating myself Now. I know I talked about emotional will on my personal social media, but I don't think I did it on my tiktok or on this podcast. Look y'all, I turn 40. I don't know if it's an ADHD thing or what, but short-term memory loss, unfortunately, is something that I have and I tell so many people things I either add or take away some stuff. So, look, I repeat myself, I repeat myself. But I'm so certain that, even if I do repeat myself, it's a small segment of information and the gist the most the meat, um and the potatoes of it is more so new information Versus, like the season, it being information repeated. Yeah, you like that analogy, don't you Okay?

Speaker 2: 19:47

Anyway, there's this emotional wheel. They give you the words to describe your feelings when you can't think of it on your own. And so my therapist, she has the wheel as a pillow in her office and y'all. It has helped me out so much because, like, I'll tell her stuff and then she'll ask me my feelings on it and I'm like I can't find the words. And so one day I noticed the emotional will pillow next to me.

Speaker 2: 20:14

Now, clearly it wasn't for me specifically, but I think it was a good thing for her to have, and so I use it from time to time, like I said, when I'm trying to explain to her the words and I just can't get it right, cuz okay, um, for example, you can say the word said, but you might not really be sad. So there's other words I think it's like three levels Underneath the said or to something like that, and it'll explain to you cuz it's like a triangle. So it'll explain I mean not explain, I'm sorry, but show different words underneath says you can get to like the root of what you're feeling. And because of that, again, that has helped me explain to my therapist how I feel and I sometimes. I also used it when we had couples therapy and I don't use it as often when I'm talking to people as I probably should because, like that means I have to keep my phone out and be like stand by and we're in such a microwave environment that, like it seems, you're not.

Speaker 2: 21:22

People are not Open, willing to listen to you, give a lot of details about anything, nor are they willing to hear you make a pause as you try to explain yourself or find the right words to say. Even on this podcast, I sometimes hate if I have to pause because I feel like I'm supposed to always have like air, but I'm not at that point yet where I can just say things off the dome and I don't like rambling. I don't think I ramble, but I probably do. But I don't think it is as bad as a good be, because that's why I have a script anyway. I Encourage you to look at that emotional will if you haven't already. It's an easily searchable. You just put in emotional will and it'll come up and stuff.

Speaker 2: 22:10

So, yeah, I know I'm not a therapist and some of us may or may not be able to have the funds or the insurance to have A therapist, but I'm hoping that by encouraging you with the tips and tricks that my therapist does for me, I can help you back. I can help by paying it forward to your mental health as well. Now, again, I am not a therapist, so I can't tell you what to do, but I can definitely tell you what Well, not everything, but some of the things that I go through. I don't know, she might find that it's similar to what you go through and maybe this can help you. So that's my way. But anyway, at the end of the day, I am encouraging you. You got this shit. One day at a time. Let's get it popping.

Speaker 2: 22:56

I blow out the bubbles surrounding pop culture and talk about it. All right, y'all. So I Did not write this down. So I'm a freestyle. The fuck out of this. And yeah, I will be okay, all right. So One thing there are going to be a couple. No, one thing will be a trigger warning, and that's when I talk about Cassie. But I'll save that for the last part about the pop culture.

Speaker 2: 23:24

So I was on Twitter. No, fuck no, I was on tiktok, with the hell on a white Twitter came to mind. I was on Tiktok and it was talking about Mario Lopez and he was Cold-switching, so I guess he has to show where he eats food, and so when he eats the food he has his accent. And he said he's Mexican. So it's not like me trying to say that on some fucked up shit. Like he's from Mexico, he's his people's, his heritage is from Mexico. Okay, so he has the accent.

Speaker 2: 23:59

And then a lot of people did not know that he was a Spanish speaker and or come from my Hispanic background, which is kind of weird. His last name is Lopez, but okay, whatever, and I guess because of the fact that when he is on air he's not, you're not able to hear it, and so I'm paraphrasing what he said on tiktok. But he basically said it's something along the lines of you know, y'all talking about my accent and stuff like that, I can't do that on my show. You know I can't have that accent. So that kind of bothered me, even though I know when it comes to non white people, that is something that we have to do.

Speaker 2: 24:41

Again, all I know about is being black, but I do know that within the black community, obviously we code switch as well. Well, we'll talk slang and stuff like that when we get on an interview or a phone interview, we'll try to elevate our voice and try to speak proper English In hopes that nobody can tell that we're black. And even if we make it that far, some Up to a face-to-face interview, sometimes we still get even more nervous and make sure that we have our hair Intact and everything. We're looking none, threatening and sounding more quote-unquote white and I personally don't like that shit. And I realized a couple of weeks ago I was Trying to get ready for an interview and even though within my state of Tennessee we have the crown egg which means that you cannot discriminate or fire somebody is Further their texture of their hair. Now it looks.

Speaker 2: 25:45

It still made me nervous because I've never Interviewed for a job with my locks before. As I think about it, damn, I'll wait. There's a lot. I have the reason I was so nervous because with this particular interview, my locks wasn't done and I was like maybe two months behind and that's a little bit more Distance that I allowed my hair to be and I didn't like it. And so I was super nervous, like how do I wear this? I don't want to wear it down, I don't want to wear it up, and I even was googling and then, luckily, I got over and I was like I'm gonna wear my hair up and there's nothing wrong with my hair, my hair is gonna be what it's gonna be.

Speaker 2: 26:28

And so I do understand from time to time that some of us can't find Ourselves trying to assimilate to this white culture. And there's nothing wrong with it because obviously we have. We're in a capitalist society, so we have to have a job to take care of ourselves. But I can't help it if it pisses me off. You know, if you have a quote-unquote kettle name, you know somebody can find out. They can not find out. They can assume your race and then, like, depending on what part of that of different areas you live, they can also assume that.

Speaker 2: 27:04

So there's all these ways that people can prejudge you without knowing shit about you and it hurts and it's horrible, especially when it comes to a job, because it's like I'm trying to be a productive person within the community and now I have to make sure that I look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way. And if you decide to have children, you have to make sure that they quote-unquote have a White name. A common name is. Other people would say, but let's call it what it is a white name. Or, if not, hope that their middle name is something that they can go by To get a job.

Speaker 2: 27:40

And it's like all these factors and I fucking hate it because I know number one it's illegal, but a Lot of things have been illegal and people are able to like skirt around his skirt. But it's like, why can't I be who I am, why can't I talk the way that I talk? And as long as I'm not cursing anybody out or violating them, like, why do I have the sound look and become Such a shrink myself to become non-threatening for a job? It's like, are you serious? And then it'll be motherfuckers like that that even if they didn't judge you and everything, they truly wanted, you of course Don't be people. You only got this job Disposition because of affirmative action and all this stuff. And it's like, damn it, like you mean to tell me we can't be smart.

Speaker 2: 28:29

I also saw on tiktok where somebody, a white person, went to an HBCU for a nursing program. I forgot who the creator was and I also forgot what the college was, and so the person was on the Assumption that because it was a HBCU, majority black and that it would not be difficult, and it's like that Assumption that anything that is black made is ghetto or that it's not professional, and I hate that because, for me, it always aggravates me how one black person is a spokesperson for every single black person, but we cannot do the same when it comes to white people. And, again, always having to act a certain way and it's like there's good, bad and everything in between and all races, genders and nationalities, religions, etc. And it just seems like whenever it's attached to black, it's supposed to be a lesser quality. And I even go as much as, when it comes to looking at TV shows and stuff, that Sometimes we see how, if it's a dark skinned person, they're probably not the love interest, and it's usually a light skinned or racially ambiguous love interest, or it's usually a skinny person, you know, and it's just like, again, we're all different shades and sizes. So it's like it seems like you're being Indoctrinated into thinking a certain way by looking at the media, reading, writing, talking, viewing.

Speaker 2: 30:06

However, and you have to like, stick to this protocol and these rules and you can't like quote-unquote disrupt it. I remember back in the days when I was in elementary how we had to go to the restroom ourselves and I didn't like that stuff. So when my daughter started going to school, I told her. I said, hey, first thing you ask to go to the bathroom, they don't let you. You go anyway, because if you don't get it out, obviously that's gonna mess up your bladder and everything like that. And it's like I'm an older. I realized that to a certain degree, school was trying to teach you on how to go into the work environment. How hey, you gotta be on time, you gotta do this, isn't it?

Speaker 2: 30:48

And of course people don't like the way that things are involved, evolve and the evolution of things change and not being the protocol norm anymore, and or people are working, waking up and demanding and wanting more than what their predecessors, previous generation, even their parents and other generational people had. And I can go on and on about this. But it's just for me, again aggravated, that we all have to be the same. Without words, actions, our names and everything. We can't be different. And I think when you're different, when you're creative, that that allows you to see things Different way. I know I keep using the word different, but I'm being serious, like being creative and not Up and going against the cream and not being the norm should be encouraged, because that's how a lot of things are birthed and change, change happens and stuff. So, again, nothing wrong with Mario Lopez doing it, but it kind of like hurt my feelings a little bit so I didn't like that.

Speaker 2: 31:53

All right, the next thing on the list. Oh my gosh, this is hilarious. So I'm gonna try to look it up so I can say it Well, so I can find it on Social media and so I can talk about it. So I'm looking it up, I'm gonna do two things at once. So, all right, so Rose College is a private college that is in Memphis, tennessee, all right, and so it is so fucking funny to me, but whatever. So I don't know. I know it's a private school and that's about it, okay. So there was a big to-do About it and I thought it was funny and stuff, because you just gotta listen. Okay, so a College in Memphis, tennessee, rose College.

Speaker 2: 32:43

There are up in arms about a faculty member that tried hosting a BDSM safety class on campus and it has everybody divided. Reverend Beatrix W E L, a school chaplain at Rhodes College, was prepared to host a safety seminar titled BDSM 101 on campus as a message on Instagram announced, it was intended to provide a safe space for students to learn about the topic, as she hosted a quote Local dominatrix to share wisdom on how to safely sailing, consensually learning about bondage, discipline, domination, sadism, submission and Mass oh, massacism. I hope I pronounce that really yeah, massacism. Okay, that's because they would also be provided with the opportunities to ask questions Unonimally. So all the words that I was saying came from a red silt and which that should let you know how it just didn't Just become local, like just Memphis, like it made it to the Red Silt and the website and stuff, and so, of course, as we know, memphis, tennessee, is In the Bible bill, so a lot of people were up in arms for religious reasons about this, especially with the person being a chaplain and I know nobody gives a shit about what I gotta say.

Speaker 2: 34:06

But I think that there's nothing wrong with this, because when you go to college, you most of I do know that there are some prodigies out there that are in college, that they are minors, but most people in college are 18 plus, so you are legally an adult, so you can make a decision to go to this class or not. It's not forcing anybody to go. You can or cannot attend. That's one and number two, if it's teaching you, educating you about PDSM, which is something that should only be Done with consenting adults, there's nothing wrong with that. And you're also teach, being taught about safe practices and consent.

Speaker 2: 34:47

So, plus the fucking problem cuz me, as someone who practices PDSM, I learned a lot about consent being within the PDSM community more than I learned being without it, and negotiations and talking about things, because obviously, as I've said before, when you participate in BDSM, it can be dangerous in what you do, so you want to make sure that you're being as safe as you can when you participate in BDSM. So what's the f**king problem with that? And consent can be. All this stuff that is being told can be taken into the real world. It's just not BDSM like. We need consent everywhere. People need to provide consent about shaking hands, hugging people, tapping people, whatever, because not everybody wants to be touched, you know.

Speaker 2: 35:41

So there's nothing wrong with consent and negotiations. Again, you can take that to your relationship, where you can negotiate with your partner about your expectations within the relationship and that way you can see if that person or persons is there for you and it's, if you like, bond well, so I see nothing wrong with this. But unfortunately, again, being in the bible belt, I can see how, quote unquote, participating in this is ungodly like because of a chaplain and Christian like. But my thing is, wearing the bible doesn't say you can't do that stuff, that like. It's on my last nerves and, yes, y'all know how I feel about Christianity but I'm being dead ass. Serious, though, like everything that is different and weird. Supposedly it's not of God. But if we want to get down to the notes and votes and become semantic, then God create some of this stuff and then God created humans and our mind, so our mind was able to involve soul. Yeah, and give me the bible verse that specifically says that bds and was wrong.

Speaker 2: 36:47

I remember growing up in church they talked about how, yeah, you know, you're supposed to only procreate for purpose of having a child and you're supposed to be married and even if you're married, you're not supposed to give or receive oral sex. Where the fuck is that in the bible? Where? So like? Again, it's so fucking aggravating to me that adults again nobody is saying to allow your 17 year old and younger to learn bdsm. You know, I see nothing wrong with them learning about negotiations and consent in a very child friendly environment, but it's like you're up in arms. Not everybody is a Christian and if those people are Christians, not everybody has their Christianity. The way that you do like the fuck. So that's the shit I don't like. So, yeah, I could have talked about this for the bdsm segment on this upcoming Thursday, but it's pop culture and I thought it was kind of hilarious. So, as your convenience, read about it and you know, make your own decisions.

Speaker 2: 37:52

Alright, the last thing I want to talk about is with Cassie and, of course, trigger warning for domestic violence, sexual assault, etc. So if you don't want to list the rest of it, that's fine. So I'm gonna briefly talk about cuz I really don't want to go into details about it cuz, again, trigger warning, duh. So allegedly Cassie was into some pretty heavy shit when she was with buff daddy diddy, whatever he wants to go by. So allegedly he abused her and allegedly evolved in sex trafficking, allegedly, and so you know she said what she said. There was a 35 page document out there. You can read it your leisure and like, within the next day he settled and a lot of people were busy about it because, you know, per usual, nobody believes women and nobody believes black women and nobody believes any victim.

Speaker 2: 38:52

Again, I had to talk about this, but Brock Turner. Brock Turner was in the action of, unfortunately, sexually assaulting this woman. Good Samaritans saw him in the egg, bend him down, called the police and the judge got him off. Oh yeah, allegedly, allegedly. The judge got him off and said something in a pair of raising that you know you don't want to ruin his reputation cuz he's a swimmer and I never found out what the woman was, thank goodness, but, like you, worried about this swimmer's life who, without consent see how this is done together took advantage of a woman who could not consent because she was the under the influence. Blah, blah, blah. And I hate that because, again, that shows whether you tell somebody when it happens, after it happens. What have you you're not believe? Row, as I talked about before, was hit with a brick.

Speaker 2: 39:52

The person who did allegedly did it came out and said yeah, I did it. Nobody believed her. So many think pieces about yeah, she didn't do it. She's a scammer. All this time she had to go to the doctor to prove to the naysayers, who don't even know her about what really happened and I don't know if anybody even apologized to her. It's like fucking crazy. And I'm and of course I know part of that has to deal with patriarchy and it's like as a victim, you're playing. What were you wearing? Why did you drink so much? Like are you fucking kidding me? Why did you rape me? That's the bigger thing. Like, why did you sexually assault me? Whatever, whatever. And so, on top of that, people also had their point of view about oh, she was just there for the money, because now she's telling and she waited so long and she made him settles. But it's like my boo thing and I talked about it.

Speaker 2: 40:44

If someone like, for example, cassie, because of what happened, she's now labeled, unfortunately, as a snitch, as a whistleblower or however you want to say it. So therefore nobody wants to work with her. Nobody would probably want to work with her on the singing, the modeling, something. So now she has, she possibly has to go and go and die, but if I'm not mistaken, she's married, so that's, she's good. But like, let's think about it. We talk about what happened to all. The name escapes me. Fuck, what's her name? Oh, damn it. Well, I can't think of it. It's right there in her tip of my tongue and that's a pun because I'm talking about Lewinsky.

Speaker 2: 41:28

There we go allegedly what happened with Monica Lewinsky and allegedly former president Bill Clinton and people joked and made fun of her and everything. So, like I can't try to find a place to work it, to take care of your livelihood and stuff. It's crazy. So yeah, but again, I'm not a lawyer and there's other think pieces from lawyers and other people who can tell you their opinion as to why Cassie did what she did and why she did self-acquard and everything. But it's like I just wish more people could just think about the victims a whole lot more than the alleged suspects perpetrators who did stuff. Because, like, nobody forced or told any of these suspect perpetrators to do what they did. I mean society.

Speaker 2: 42:20

I think again, as I said early and doctor native brand, watch them to believe that they have the power and they should be given pussy at any given time because they're rich and they do this, this and that, blah, blah, blah. But like again, we need to encourage and force people to stop violating consent, violating people's boundaries and everything like that. Again, so many people don't want to evolve and this is what happens when you don't want to evolve like X for consent. So, anyway, blah, blah, blah. So all that stuff.

Speaker 2: 42:54

I read like maybe two or three pages of what happened to Cassie and it was very heartbreaking to me to to learn about that stuff and I did. That is what she's going through and I hope that she gets the help and therapy if she hasn't received therapy, and she has more people on her side about what she went through. Because, again, as someone who has survived being in domestic violence relationship twice and who has been sexually assaulted once and has had my constant violated many times, I feel for her. So anytime I hear about somebody being abusive and stuff, it really triggers me, of course, and it really makes me want to go hard for the victims involved, because I know what it's like and the paradigm that comes with men and, yes, I know that men and non-binary people can be assaulted and in domestic violence situations, etc. Etc. But it's usually mostly women, cis women and mostly trans women that go through this.

Speaker 2: 44:00

So, again, the underlying layer, of course, is misogyny misogyny, war if the person is black, and patriarchy and religion, as well as a lot of stuff if we get down to the notes and bolts, but at the end of the day, that shit is fucked up and a person can probably it'll take a lot for them ever to be their usual self. And again, because we're in a capitalist society, how can they take care of themselves? And it's crazy because my boo thing was like yeah, so say, for example, somebody smokes crack or something like that, or does ecstasy, and they're allegedly around Cassie. There's a, but there's potential for Cassidy to snitch. That's how they could get caught up. And you know, if you make a lot of money, then that can mess up your reputation and mess up your livelihood. So you know, nobody would probably want her around. And even deeper than that which sucks so badly and that pump was not intended.

Speaker 2: 45:00

My boo thing even mentioned that people might have saw someone do something wrong. Sometimes they can even snitch or tell the authorities because that's their livelihood. And I also remember Joe Button talking about this as well, where and I'm paraphrasing, but this deal with R Kelly, like one song, can feed a lot of people. So unfortunately, it can be difficult for someone to want to tell because that's affecting their livelihood as well, and all of that is gross and disgusting and I hate that and I'm not saying it's okay, but I hate that. People are not in a place because of financial reasons. They're not in a place morally or ethically and, of course, financially, to want to snitch or even tell somebody doing wrong because they could be black ball, they could lose their job and all the stuff. And, of course, if you're a balfour rich person trying to prove that you did what you did like for me and then I'll wrap it up with my last relationship.

Speaker 2: 46:06

There was no proof of domestic violence, because I didn't want to call the cops, because I didn't want to get arrested, because, yeah, I hit that motherfucker back. Oh, allegedly I hit him back. And so when I tried to get my order of protection, I didn't even hire a lawyer because I knew that there was no proof. It was my word against my ex and, show enough, my ex allegedly committed perjury by saying that he never put his hands on me, but him and I both know he did. And because there was nobody around who saw it, I never called the police. And when the police did show up to the house, when my men and me called, I never told the police what happened, like he was able to get away with it, even though on his record and the case was dismissed and I learned this after we were already deep in a relationship that he had got arrested before For it wasn't domestic violence before assault or something like that. So that's again why I encourage y'all to look up people. But anyway, we talked about it when we were in the relationship and he had said allegedly that the woman was lying and she never went to court. So because she never went to court, it was thrown out and so yeah, and it just sucks.

Speaker 2: 47:25

So there's so many reasons, unfortunately, why victims don't say anything. And even when they do and they have all the proof in the world Sometimes they're still hackled and talked about. And if you're powerful and rich enough, you can still sometimes get off a game, but not intended for the things that you did. So my advice to you, if you can, per usual, if you are in any kind of relationship where this person is low, bumming you, abusing, you see if you can seek help, treatment and get out. And if you're able to see the red flags, please, please, please, take those red flags as the truth. Talk to your ancestors, talk to your eyes, talk to yourself, look at, look and research that person and the first time that they violate your consent or your boundaries, if you can get away from them.

Speaker 2: 48:19

And again, I do understand how sometimes it's difficult when it comes to those type of relationships that you don't know that it's abusive until it's too late, or you're so wrapped up in the relationship but you can't get out or you're fearful that once you do get out the relationship that they still might harm you. Do everything you can if possible to avoid that and do everything you can to get an order of protection. If it's legal, record your conversations with that person, keep the text messages. If you can do everything, you can that if you're in this situation and try to get out of it, because unfortunately not all of us make it out alive and I'd rather y'all try y'all best to avoid these red flags the first time you see them, so that you can survive and avoid it. So yeah, croak on the joke. That's where I give you my bestest jokes and we laugh together. Or nah, today's joke I told a helium joke in chemistry class. There was no reaction. Well, guess that's my cue to leave.