Episode 47| Gots to be Read

Hey! Hi! It’s me MommaQueue. I welcome you to Moments in Queue. 

In Queue Today: Hi Why > Black Business > Who do Hoodoo > and Are you Kinky or Knot

Books! Book! And talk about more books! I discuss 3 books that I read and they don’t have much to do which each other. I also mention how restaurant bots are now infiltrating the dating scene. Be careful out there. We know the dating pool gots a lil unmellow yellow!

Black Business:
Got2BOshun
Website: Got2boshun.org 
IG: Got2BOshun

Books I mentioned
- Ona Agbani: The Ancient Path: Understanding And Implementing The Ways Of Our Ancestors by Iyalosa Apetebii Akalatunde
-  Bullwhip Days: The Slaves Remember: An Oral History by James Mellon (editor)
- Enough to Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation Workbook by Princess Kali

Chapters

• 0:33 Book Overview and Black Business Highlight
• 6:15 Yoruba Spirituality and African Slave History
• 11:46 Learning About Enslavement and Black History
• 26:30 Exploring Shame, Humiliation, and Kinks
• 33:01 Online Dating Safety Tips

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:33

M-O-Double M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-A-W-E that's my name, mama Q. M-o-double M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-A-W-E, that's my name. Mama Q, say it faster or slow, don't really matter, though the U-E gets a minute. Tongue-tizzy yo, hey, kinda dizzy bro. Who is she? Mama Q? Mama gave birth little ways, no girth, Sixty years ago. No, I don't want. Mo Q is a line and I tried to align this double end. Tundra petty, haha, it's one of my modules. Mama Q, I'm the first one in and the first one out. Memphis Tend to Key is my whereabouts. Don't complain. Main saying stick it to one topic. I reply your mind is very myopic with Mama Q. You need better optis picking and choosing to copy me. Are you inspired? Definitely. No need to whisper gracefully, I like it better off-key. Now let's see. Do you remember me? M-o-double M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-A-W-E that's my name. Mama Q, m-o-double M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-A-W-E that's my name. Mama Q, hey, hi, it's me. Mama Q, I welcome you to Moments in Q. In Q today.

Speaker 1: 1:59

Hawaii, black Business, hudu, hudu. And are you kinky or not? Hawaii? I give you the green of the day and I'm explaining the why of this episode. It's holiday season. I'm going to talk about books to align with topics, in case you want to put the books on the Christmas tree or in the stocking? Do people even read books in hand anymore? Anyway, let's end the year on some education and reading and learning. More Tis the season. Oh and PS, how many of y'all made it through no nut November? Black Business I highlight a black business to bring awareness and my experience with said business. Unless, I say it, it isn't a paid ad. I am open to paid ads, but I definitely want to highlight black businesses. There's enough money for all of us to get it Alright.

Speaker 1: 2:59

Gasta B Oshun she's from Tena Key. Like Me, y'all call that. I was ramen. Anyway, I learned about her from Juju Bay's podcast. I received a reading from her some years ago about which Orisha has my head. Some people believe that you shouldn't inquire about which Orisha owns your head If you don't plan to do anything about it. I plan to do something about it one day. I'm confident my higher self and my ancestors will lead me to the right ele.

Speaker 1: 3:30

Keeping with books. She has written two books. I read one of them and I hope I am not butchering this too much. It's called Ona Agbani the Ancient Path Understanding and Implementing the Ways of Our Ancestors. I read this book. In 2021, according to her Instagram, she'll have a book coming out in 2024. Back to the book Ona Agbani.

Speaker 1: 3:57

This book was very informative to me, for someone that isn't familiar with IFA. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any of my notes that I normally write down when I listen or read a book. Sorry, y'all, this is going to be off the dome. From the book I learned about my higher self, which was great because at the time I was having a lot of difficulty Because in IFA tradition, from what I heard the word Ori that deals with your higher self. I was trying to understand what the higher self and Ori are two different people Just trying to figure out what it is. I really liked that portion of the book that made me understand. If I'm not mistaken, I was also able to learn a little bit more about Not the do's and don'ts, but I don't want to use the word hierarchy, but I'll probably roll with that and the quote-unquote hierarchy that exists between your higher self, the Orishas and the ancestors, but we do know that when they all combine, that they're still on your spiritual team. Okay, and I also learned, of course, more about some Orishas that I wasn't too familiar with, because I can't remember the year that I started learning about Orishas or even Learning about them in pop culture and stuff. But I know that that gave me a better understanding Because, as we know, even when it comes to books, there are some people out here that will tell a lie which some of that stuff from what I heard Because you know, I'm not an IFA initiative or anything like that they're not supposed to tell a period and there's others just tell stuff just by books. So it's kind of difficult and I'm sure I mentioned this before it's kind of difficult to navigate something that is unknown and new to you and trying to figure out how to learn about it and to decipher who is telling the truth or who's not. So I believe her to be real, obviously Ghas to be ocean, ghas to be real, and so, therefore, I trust the things that I was learning about her and I, again, thoroughly enjoyed it. So here's the book overview.

Speaker 1: 6:15

When Africans were brought to the Caribbean, north America and South America and Europe as captives, they had been practicing their own spiritual systems for thousands of years. Ona Agbani is an introduction to the spiritual system of the Yoruba people of Nigeria. Alright, now she also offers readings, like I mentioned, to find Eurecia Villa. Oh my gosh, mary Dougal, married a clone, I'm sorry, and that's not tarot like some people try to claim.

Speaker 1: 6:49

There are a lot of people out here who will say that you can find the Orisha that is over your head via tarot cards or pendulums. No, a lot of people who are in the religion and who have the ability to find what Orisha owns your head. They say that that is incorrect. Incorrect meaning tarot cards. When I get you there, there has to be a specific way to do it. If I'm not, I don't even want to be mistaken. I don't even want to say, because when I received the reading from her, it was ear to ear and it was not on Zoom. I didn't think to do a Zoom because I was like I'm going to write everything down, I don't need a Zoom.

Speaker 1: 7:37

And she was able to answer my questions and she gave me insight into, obviously, who owns my head and she gave me two names. She knew things about me. It kind of reminds me of that Maxwell song. You shouldn't know these things about me. Y'all know I can't sing, but that's what it was for me, and so that's how I determine a lot and thankful shout out to the ancestors, my higher self who have helped me navigate in this lovely journey and I don't think I have ran across any charlatans. But again, some of the things that she said in the reading like you're not supposed to know that about me, like WTF, and she also told me that you have to make sure that you hear your name to ensure that the reading is real she was the only one who gave me a reading like that, so I'm sorry if I'm not saying it's accurate, but, point being, there are certain people within the E for religions that are able to tell you what Orisha owns your head. And, again, if that's the route you choose to go, do not believe or listen to those that said that you can find it do terror through terror or pendulums, because, again, it doesn't work that way. Okay. Other reading says slash services are a delay. Sorry if I'm mispronouncing that holistic health consultations and holistic family consultations.

Speaker 1: 9:08

I've been following her on IG for a while and yo, she is Asian. Gracefully, she looks very beautiful for her age and the reason being, I feel like, is that she eats clean, if that makes sense, and obviously not to say that other people who eat processed foods are dirty or anything, but what I'm trying to say is she eats as much as she can. That's from the earth and I don't know. I don't think she's a vegetarian, but either way, it's just she eats a certain way. That's the best way to explain. She eats a certain way and healthy and it shows in the way that she looks like. Damn, she looks good. Okay, she offers a lot of classes. I haven't had an opportunity to listen in on her classes, but I am on her list serve so I get to know all the things that classes she's having. But some of the class she offers is black witchcraft, manifestation, ifa and orisha classes and more. Again, my opinion she is very informative. So I encourage you if you're interested in learning about ifa and she does talk about who do, from time to time, read her books and support the divine feminine. Who do, who do I get to the root of, who do conjure up thoughts that pop into my mind about spirituality. Come on, get this work, keeping with books and of course I'm gonna say that again.

Speaker 1: 10:39

This book I'm about to talk about is called bull whip days a slave remember and oral history by James Mellon. Here's the description of the book. In the 1930s, the works progress administration commissioned. An oral history of the remaining former slaves. Bull whip days is a remarkable compendium I've never heard of that word Compendium C, o, m, p, n, d, I, u M of selections from this extraordinary interviews, providing an unflinching portrait of the world of government sanctioned slavery of Africans in America. Here are 29 full narrations as well as nine sections of excerpts related to particular X aspects of slave life, from religion to plantation life to the reconstruction area Error. Skillfully edited, these chronicles bear eloquent witness to the trials of slaves in America, reveal the wide range of conditions of human bondage and provide sobering insight into the roots of racism in today's society.

Speaker 1: 11:47

Now, unfortunately, I have not finished the book and I decided to go ahead and talk about it anyway. I have about five hours left and life is life and kicking my butt and since I'm talking about books, I'm like let's go ahead and talk about it and I think that there are enough subjects that I'm about to take up talk about that could fill in the blanks and I can't wait to listen to the rest of the five hours. Now, again, I have audible, so I listened to it, so that was very, that was very helpful for me because, of course, the readers were able to use that accents of Southern people. Now I'm pretty confident that if you read the book it will be written down just like how some Southern people talked and a lot of people not me, though, because I'm a Southern a lot of people complain about that style of writing. There was a Zora Neil Hurston book that was written similar like that and, again, some people find it difficult to read along to it. Me, I don't have an issue with it. So if this is something that you are interested in learning about and you have difficulties possibly reading Southern dialect, I would encourage you to listen to the book. But if it doesn't bother you, you know, either way is fine, all right.

Speaker 1: 13:15

So here's a list of things that I learned and of course I'm expound on each one with my experiences. I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna do this all at once or individual. I don't know. I'll probably say all of it, we'll see. Blah, blah, blah, alright. So the book I enjoyed. I was pissed off, I was upset, I was shocked and surprised with the book. Lots of emotions, obviously, okay. So there was a lot of aspects of who do any. So you know, I really love that part.

Speaker 1: 13:45

So there was a ins well, former enslaved African talked about jumping the broom and of course, some of y'all may know it or may not, but what the fuck ever I'm gonna tell you. So back in the days, black people could not get married. Therefore, what would happen is that they would jump the broom and that was their way of being married. Sometimes they according to the book, the people who endured this sometimes they were able to pick the person that they want to marry. Other times it was at the slave owner's discretion. Unfortunately, color purple sort of kind of come into mind with the way that I imagined how it would go with the book, because you know they would want a woman to be with a certain type of man in hopes that their babies would be a certain type of a way.

Speaker 1: 14:41

First of all, let me go with trigger warning for this entire section. I'm gonna try my absolute best not to talk too bad, but if you have to take a break, I totally understand it. I'm probably gonna be talking about SA and DV because unfortunately I was part of the life for some people. So, again, that was the way of some people, and there is this herb that I had learned about called they pronounce that as fatida, which is ASFOTEDIA, and some people use that as a way to help them when they would get sick, and I thought that was hella interesting because I do, or did I? I know at one point I did have the grind-up version of that and I'm sorry y'all that stuff does not smell the greatest, so it was just very interesting. I know it's like duh, but I don't know. Like me, having the herb now in 2023, hearing about them talking about it and realizing that it's it has been existed for a long time kind of was like surreal to me and I finally understood how to pronounce that word, so I like that.

Speaker 1: 15:52

They talked about teas to get well. Some people should know about a hot toddy, so of course they talked about that, but they were just talking about using different type of herbs, which some people do still, to this day, use different teas. I know I've heard a tea reading. That wasn't what they were talking about in particular. It was just again, different ways to heal your body by drinking different teas, and you know how there's that, saying that us black folks will laugh at everything. Well, in the book there was an excerpt about this person who had said, yeah, that during slavery they will laugh at traumatic things because that was just their way of like dealing with it and going on with what's going on. And I find that funny because again the ancestors find a way out. But I don't know about you, but for me that was just like wow, so many years removed and we're still to a certain degree acting like our ancestors, laughing at anything and everything when we're supposed to like be solemn.

Speaker 1: 16:56

You know they talked about wearing hemp clothes and you know, as someone me that used to be a hemp gardener we'll see if I feel like doing that the next year. That was pretty cool. So some of that part, just hearing about the hemp clothes, obviously not the rest. So some of the enslaved Africans, they wore hemp clothing and it was very scratchy for them. They also talk about muslin muslin and I had just bought myself some because I felt it in my spirit to buy it and I've used that sometimes to do different types of workings and to make different teas for my spiritual bath. So I thought that was cool and I learned the origins of catch a girl, get a girl.

Speaker 1: 17:43

They had something like that back in the enslavement days and it's like what I just would have never thought of that. Now here comes possible trigger warnings. Is that, of course, sadly, some of the women, the enslaved African women, would have babies by Massa and the Massa's wife wouldn't like it, and so they talked about that experience, which wasn't great. They talked about how sometimes the white women would get upset, jealous and mad over the woman that Massa was sleeping with and sometimes would beat her. There was a lot of abuse.

Speaker 1: 18:23

Obviously, some enslaved people talked about slavery not being bad for them and I don't like that and it's not to take away from their experience. But I was listening to Donnell writes maybe a little while ago on one of his TikTok videos and I'm paraphrasing everything. But he had mentioned how somebody had reached out to him, asked him how he feels about deconstruction and to explain it. So he explained it and it seemed like the only part state that they cared about was like him. Oh, I hate that I'm paraphrasing because now I'm going off the cuff over they didn't add the parts that really mattered to him and so he felt like they whoever it was they wanted to just know about the good parts of it, not what Christianity has done to him, how triggering might be and everything. So that's immediately came to mind that some people and we know people think like that anyway. But some people might be like, oh see, this enslaved person didn't have it bad, so all slavery wasn't bad.

Speaker 1: 19:36

But even if the enslaved Africans didn't get beat, they were there against their will. So what is the good in that? And so a lot of people were talking about who do, which was pretty cool. Some of the enslaved didn't believe in it. They were all about Jesus Christ. Some of them, if they had a good Massa, they was like, yeah, I can't wait to go to heaven, I'll see Massa. Then some of them was like Massa, but not being heaven. You know all these different thoughts about it. One guy in particular was pretty cool. He had helped save some of the enslaved Africans. He had taken a boat and took them to freedom. So I thought that was flipping amazing because obviously all I've ever heard of was Harriet Tubman and stuff. So for me again, overall an amazing book. I thoroughly enjoyed learning about it, learning about against some of us black people. We have not I mean, doug, we're not a monolith but some of us black people we haven't changed generations later and some of the origins of our blackness can go back to enslavement, which is sad but also quote unquote understandable, because some people are able to research that some of the ways that Americans act and some of the quote unquote rules that goes back to European times. So again, no matter how far removed we are, the ancestors find a way and history repeats itself.

Speaker 1: 21:14

Are you kinky or not? I'm a proud kinkster to the BDSM community. Let me tell you about this lifestyle to see if you want to come over to the dark side. We got candles, all right, y'all. If it seems like I've been zooming through this episode, it's partially because, unfortunately, I forgot to charge my iPad and it's down to 5% and my cell phone is down to 14%. So yeah, if I'm going fast, that's what's going on. I'm trying to get all this out here in time so I can charge one of them, save it and get it out. All right, so this could be underpop culture for my next time that I do a Monday episode, but I'd rather talk about it now.

Speaker 1: 21:57

Tiktok told me about a new trend called Food Digger. First of all, they need to rename it. I don't like it, not catchy enough. So, boom, you meet someone on a dating app. Y'all hook up. I mean, yeah, yeah, y'all hook up and the person not hook up, like with y'all match that kind of hook. And the person suggests a specific restaurant to be petty. Let's say Cheesecake Factory. You arrive at Cheesecake Factory, they end up standing you up. Nothing new, right? But Plot Twist, the person that stood you up was a restaurant buy and or an employee slash owner of the restaurant. The goal is hoping that you would spend money over being stood up. It's a genius and also dirty marketing move.

Speaker 1: 22:47

Now, what does this have to do with BDSM? Well, there's a kink for that, called Humiliation, and it's my kink. Now, before I go into Humiliation being my kink, in case you couldn't pick up what I was trying to put down humiliating somebody and leading them on I thought about how fucked up that is from a restaurant point of view, because one of the times that I listened to this on TikTok, they had said that our owner at a specific restaurant had started this. Now, is that true or not? I'm not for sure. So allegedly, but the point is like I don't know. I just feel like a person will be humiliated to be stood up, you know, and even worse, you got catfished by a restaurant, but like that gotta suck and be embarrassing and stuff like that. So that's why I think about humiliation and, like I said, humiliation is my kink. So let me describe, before I describe my experience with this kink, I wanna talk about Duh, a book.

Speaker 1: 23:57

I read this book with my former local BDSM community. We had a book club. Every single month we would read a mature, obviously, but a kinky related type of book. So the name of this book is Enough to Make you Blush. Exploring Erotic Humiliation Workbook by Princess Collie. So here's the description of the book.

Speaker 1: 24:23

Erotic humiliation goes for, beyond the quote unquote lick my boots stereotype. Princess Collie, a famous farmer dominatrix and world round humiliatrix, throws upon the dungeon doors to explore the complex desires that fuel this kind of psychological play for both dominance and submissives. Using both personal and extensive interviews, she shares advice and detailed ideas for a broad range of embarrassing, humiliating and degrading ways to enjoy consensual, consensual kinky fun. Also covered are important concepts such as communication, negotiation, consent triggers after care and so much more. All right, I actually finished this book some years ago and I made notes. Of course, I won't read all my notes to you because they're very thorough in comparison to the bullwhip notes. But I'm just gonna let you know and I normally don't like to critique a book with fuck it. I'm in the mood to do something. Let me try something new Ch-ch-ch-ch, something new, ch-ch-ch-ch. Okay, fine, all right.

Speaker 1: 25:33

I did not like the quotes that was in the book. I really enjoyed knowing that there are levels to humiliation. The levels are at the first level, embarrassment. Second level, humiliation and third level, degradation. For me, embarrassment is teasing me about having a fat ass and I can't dance. It makes me for lack of better words blush. Humiliation is a level above with wanting me to twerk in front of other people without giving me proper time to prepare, in hopes of minimizing mistakes and looking crazy. Twerking Degradation is consensually talking shit about me while I'm freestyling, twerking in front of everybody and y'all. That actually really happened to me. So let's see. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so don't worry, I will. Oh yeah, wait, wait telling me I'm horrible at twerking. I should do better. Everyone can see how stiff and offbeat I am. Don't worry, I will expound on the levels in future episodes.

Speaker 1: 26:30

If you want to know the difference between shame and humiliation, the book explains it and I think it's important to know the difference. This lifestyle has stereotypes and assumptions of people being abused, and unfortunately some people are, but there are also some who consent to being what other people will view as abuse okay, and so I think it's nice to be educated on those people who don't know the difference so that they can know about it. And each chapter has questions at the end and there is no right or wrong answers, at least in our group chat. I mean, yeah, same thing, our book club group chat, it wasn't, but it's a lot of things that make you go. Hmm, a few more points of importance in the book are negotiations questions. Yeah, humiliation ideas. Wait, I'm saying it wrong negotiation questions, not like negotiations, common questions, all right, negotiation questions, humiliation ideas and different humiliation kinks, such as furniture play, chassity and public humiliations. So, yeah, if humiliation is your kink, check out the book. Of course I'm gonna talk about my humiliation experiences and I don't know if I'm ever gonna talk about these three kinks and details, but I can give you like a brief synopsis. So, if you didn't know, there is a furniture kink out there where somebody literally will convert, contort, contort their body to be like a piece of furniture in the book, if I'm not mistaken in public, but it wasn't. So out there, you know, but one of Princess Collie's bottoms or some of his, whichever one he was. He had a lampshade and he was told to stand still and of course that looks silly. So nobody would think that's kinky, unless you're kinky duh. So that's the type of furniture kink Chassity.

Speaker 1: 28:23

I've heard of people that have penis to be in chassity. There does exist one for people that have volvos. However, I don't know how that works. So I had a person who I'm cool with in the community. We haven't spoken a while, but you know that person never did anything to me, but he used to wear a lock over his penis and he gave his key to his key holder I think that's the proper word for it and yeah, and he would like degrade his penis verbally to us. So I mean not my kink at all, but yeah, there's some people who exist duh like that.

Speaker 1: 29:05

But when it comes to the chassity kink, if the person has a penis, there's no way that they can get hard because the way that the the cage yeah, there we go the way that the chastity cage for a person with a penis is, it's um, it's yeah, it's not sticking straight out. It's like limp. So obviously, if a person gets aroused, they go straight and it goes hard. So how's that gonna work? So, yeah, it can make someone hurt, but um, that's all I know about that. I guess, if anybody's interested, maybe I'll expound on that in future episodes. But that's what I mean with chastity and I just sort of did a two for one Would explain and furniture play and public emulations Alright.

Speaker 1: 29:51

So now to my kiki emulation Experiences. Alright, so I've had this experience with my sir. So some years ago, oh my gosh, he made me twerk in front of his friend, and this was before YouTube taught me how to twerk and he knows I can dance. He would always tease me about it and so, like I was like embarrassed because I can handle twerking in front of him, but in front of his friend too, like I did not like that at all. But again, because of the relationship we have, where I trust him, I know that he would never do anything to hurt me, disrespect me, my feelings, or anything like that.

Speaker 1: 30:37

Whenever I am around him I'm in Submissive mode, so therefore it didn't bother me. But, like I said, it like was like are you serious? And stuff, and so at that time, like I said, I didn't have YouTube so of course it wasn't moved like it was supposed to. I was putting my back into it. Oh my gosh, I felt like I looked way better than Miley Cyrus. But again I did not like it and stuff, because I didn't want him to say that I was still and I have all that ass and I come make it jiggle. And, like I said, because I trust him, I did it. So I'm okay with being humiliated, but only with someone I trust and respect.

Speaker 1: 31:15

Otherwise, for me it can be bad, because when the play, that type of play is over with, you gotta Now, mind you, this is for any type of play, obviously, but when it comes to the type of play where you're verbally well, you're not verbally abusing because the person is consenting and they trust you. But the point is, when it comes to deep plays, where it misses, which you psychologically, you have to do that with somebody you trust and you have to ensure that the person knows how to Finish the play and remind you that you're none of those things, just so your mind can be okay. Because, as I've probably said before, when you Are into btsm play, it can give you what dopamine and all these other fun loving chemicals. But what comes up must come down. So aftercare is extremely important. If a person desires aftercare, that you give them to that Always, but definitely when you do a type of play like this. Let's see. Oh yeah, because when the play is done you got to remind the sub or the bottom that it was just for the scene.

Speaker 1: 32:18

Now, real thoughts, if that makes any sense. All three levels, which is humiliation, degradation and embarrassment those are my kinks. Yeah, so let's see what else has happened. I keep losing my place because I keep wanting to go off the cuff, but that means all ramble and my meds have left my body. Alright, let's see. Okay, blah, blah, blah. Okay, now I have cried and came at the same time with him. Um, but I will go further into future episodes if I decide to talk about Embarrassment and or degradation and stuff. But back to the bots.

Speaker 1: 33:01

I wonder if the person who created this idea has a kink because I, like I had said earlier, early early. I allegedly saw a shelf on tiktok that owns a restaurant and used to tender to lure a woman to his restaurant with AI male photos, allegedly after a successful date where the person was stood up. He continued to do it allegedly because, again, if you wasted time driving and getting ready for your day, you don't want to waste time and go home, so fuck it, you'll probably eat and or drink by your loss himself. And Another way that this had occurred was they would tell the person hey, I'm running late, so please order a drink or an appetizer, I'll be there soon. And then they get stood up and now they're paying for this stuff. So, of course, I think that if you have a kink like this is wrong because the other adult did not consent to this type of treatment.

Speaker 1: 33:57

But you never know if you are talking to a real person or not on the social media app. So I want you to be careful. Try, if you can, to talk to the person ear to ear, or try to do a video in hopes To prove to yourself that that person ain't a bot. Then, for there, you might want to double check with the person that they are on their way to the restaurant and you don't get out of your car until you can confirm that they are there. Then, if they are late, you leave. I know this seems common sense, but y'all, I'm an 80s baby. I didn't grow up with the internet and virtual friends in my life, so fuck it. I want to provide these tips. Be safe out there. As we know, the dating pool, the dating pool, is full of piss. I've talked long enough. Q.