Episode 49| We outchea

Hey! Hi! It’s me MommaQueue. I welcome you to Moments in Queue. 

In Queue Today: Hi Why > Black Business > Who do Hoodoo > and Are you Kinky or Knot

I talk about having a different thought process when it comes to “complaining” about the “same old same old” Black greats. I mention a wonderful Black book. Yes it’s about enslavement but it’s not traumatic in my opinion. Then I close the podcast talking about degrading stuff. I’m Black Bish!

Black Business:
Sunn m’Cheaux

Hoodoo:
The Water Dancer by  Ta-Nehisi Coates

Remember if you can say Tom, Dick, Harry, and John you can say Ta-Nehisi Coates and Sunn m’Cheaux

Chapters

• 0:34 Black History and Business With Mama Q
• 6:29 Explore Black History With Book Rec
• 14:29 Harriet Tubman's Spiritual Gifts and Hoodoo
• 25:44 Navigating Consent and Safety in BDSM

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:34

M-O-W-M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-W-E, that's my name, mama Q. M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e-d-w-e, that's my name. Mama Q, say it faster. Slow don't really matter, though the U-E gets a minute. Tongue tizzy, yo, hey, kinda dizzy bro. Who is she? Mama Q. Mama gave birth little waste, no girth, sixteen years ago. No, I don't want mo Q is a line and I tried to align this double end. Tundra petty, haha, it's one of my mantras. Mama Q, I'm the first one in and the first one out. Memphis Tend to Key is my whereabouts. Duncan Plain Mayn saying stick it to one topic. I reply your mind is very myopic with Mama Q. You need better optist picking and choosing to copy me. Are you inspired? Definitely. No need to whisper gracefully. I like it better off key. Now let's see. Do you remember me? M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e-d-w-e, that's my name. Mama Q. M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e-d-w-e, that's my name. Mama Q. Hey, hi, it's me. Mama Q. I welcome you to Moments in Q In Q today.

Speaker 1: 1:59

Hawaii, black Business, hudu-du. And are you kinky or not? Hawaii, I give you the green of the day and I'm explaining the why of this episode. I'm black, I'm black. Buh bish, I'm black. Hey, I'm black, I'm black, bish, I'm black.

Speaker 1: 2:23

Happy Black History Month y'all. Every other Thursday, you know, I highlight my black people. Well, as you're listening to this, it's actually Saturday. I decided to do my Thursdays to Saturdays Because life has just been getting busy. I will highlight Sonam's show and his TikToks as why we should continue to celebrate notable black history. People Moving to Hudu. I will talk about the book Water Dancer by Tana Hisi Coates. I might even sprinkle remembering the ancestors' name. Lastly, I will pick up where I left off last year with degradation. Remember, if you can pronounce Tom, dick, harry, billy and Bob, you can pronounce Sonam's show and Tana Hisi Coates.

Speaker 1: 3:08

Black Business I highlighted Black Business to bring awareness and my experience with said business. Unless, I say it, it isn't a paid ad. I'm open to paid ads, but I definitely want to highlight black businesses. There's enough money for all of us to get it.

Speaker 1: 3:22

Alright, y'all, I am going to give you a bio now. It's long, but I see nothing wrong with it. I like it because if you got a lot of stuff to talk about your accolades and let people really get to know who you are, then put it out there, okay. So here is my bio about Sonam Cho.

Speaker 1: 3:43

All right, he was born the middle child of a Pentecostal holiness minister, father and missionary mother in Charleston, south Carolina. A true Gullah Gechi Ben-Yah native, he was reared in rural Mount Holly, south Carolina, in a familiar village established in the late 1850s. The rich Gullah language and culture he observed growing up on those Sandy Low country backwoods is ever present in his life as an artist, advocate and educator, though an accomplished high school student, a war-winning writer and champion wrestler show Passion Was and Is music, which he pursued professionally after graduation. To date, he has released five full-length studio albums, a myriad of singles and music videos and has recorded a trove of yet to be released work. He has lived and traveled across country in the US and ventured abroad as an independent recording artist and producer. It was during him shows travels that his worldviews expanded, leading him to become more involved in public service for causes and communities, for which his heightened profile as a performer, granting him a platform to affect progress. His activism and advocacy have been featured on HBO, vice, bbc, cbs and Al Jazeera Plus, to name a few.

Speaker 1: 5:04

M-shows considers media presence to be an integral component in his effort to draw attention to the oft-ignored social groups, particularly in the Gullah Giji community. M-show has cultivated a strong following online via social media, with frequent viral content ranging from pop culture, commentary, allegorical and adults and entertainment to serious discussions, advocacy and philanthropy. Via crowdfunding, he uses his this content to promote intellect, ethics, enlightenment and education, the latter of which led him, in 2017, to become the first and only Gullah language instructed at Harvard University. In this role, he teaches a curriculum based on extensive research and his own personal Gullah Giji knowledge and experience. All right, there's more in this, but I want to let y'all know. Y'all can read it on your own. My. I want to get to the last paragraph of it and it says proud yet humble, about his achievements. M-shows personal mantra and all his endeavors is we out here, a celebratory Gullah Giji affirmation, meaning we are out here. He attributes his personal ascension to the collective excellence of his culture and people overall. In that regard, m-shows embodies mustakia de root fada heal the tree. The Gullah proverb there means must take care of the root to nourish the tree.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Now, look, I know I'm a Southerner, but for some weird reason, I always want to try to pronounce words as if that's Spanish, and I try my best to pronounce that as correctly as I could. I hope I did a good job. I try, I try, but anyway, I want to let y'all know about my introduction to him. All right, I learned about him via TikTok. The locks ruled me in y'all. I doubt I would ever allow my locks to get as long as son, but I love seeing locks y'all on black people. Oh my gosh. And those who like really have it long. Oh my gosh. Like I'm not exaggerating, I feel like his locks are like to his knees, like no lie, no lie, no lie. Okay so, um, of the numerous tiktoks I seen from in show, one that sticks out is him educating a white teacher, no less.

Speaker 1: 7:21

On the continuation of highlighting the notable black people during this month, such as Harry Tubman and Dr Martin Luther King, all right, so I'm about to speak from personal experience. Okay. So, for me, from kindergarten till senior in high school, my, my school, my classes, my curriculum, most of the time when it was black history month, they said numerous amount of black people and it was usually the same, you know, the doctor, martin Luther King, rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, frederick Douglass, etc. There was one time in fifth grade I remember learning about Mary McCleod and I didn't hear too much about her afterwards. That was who I chose, or was chosen for me, to learn about.

Speaker 1: 8:06

Okay, and so, like, as I started getting older, I Unfortunately I'm just speaking my truth Got tired of it because I'm like there's. So I feel like there was so much more to us than these notable people's names, like I wanted to learn more than just these. I don't know these same 10 names, but when I listen to son and he talked about it, it changed my mind. I'm a believer, all right, so I'm paraphrasing everything I'm saying, but let me tell you, all right. So he said that you never know what new information you'll learn. During his tiktok, I learned a lot more about some of the notable Black people then I knew in all my years growing up, Okay, so let me tell you all some things that I learned that I did not know.

Speaker 1: 8:56

For example, rosa Parks her personal hero was Malcolm X, not dr Martin Luther King Jr, and she spoke at the Million Man's March under need minister Lewis Farrakhan. I Definitely didn't know that, did you? Also, dr Martin Luther King Jr, him and his father. Their names were originally Michael, but it was changed to honor the German reformist. Which side note y'all when I first learned about Dr Martin Luther King Jr. Oh, reven doctor Martin Luther King Jr and put some respect on it.

Speaker 1: 9:29

But when I learned about him and learned about the reformist Martin Luther, I Wondered was like that intentional? But I never asked the teachers because I don't remember them ever telling me that and when I mean me, obviously the classroom and I just thought that it was a stupid question to ask. I know no question is a dumb question, but I was just like you know it could be. Just you know it's just like that Martin Luther Okay, his name is Reven dr Martin Luther King Jr Like it's just was a coink-a-dink, nothing more. So it was just interesting and stuff, and so like, yeah, I've changed my mind about like getting quote-unquote, tired of hearing the Same names, because we also have to remember, a lot of people Are trying to get rid of African-American history within the schools.

Speaker 1: 10:18

So it's very, in my opinion, it's very important and vital to keep their names alive. Of course, I feel about it, even though this is not the hoodoo section. I will talk about it because I really want to talk about the book during the hoodoo section. But number one reason, I think, is that it's important for us to know much as much about our history as we can Right when it comes to learning about black history. That's one and number two. There's nothing wrong with learning something new about someone because you know, like he said, you might not know every single thing and I might not know something that you knew, and vice versa. And we have people obviously black people who are being born and their peoples might not know. So I see nothing wrong with that and from, in my opinion, a hoodoo perspective Is that we want to continue to keep their names alive.

Speaker 1: 11:09

I'm pretty confident I talked about this when it came to talking about cocoa in the movie. I'm pretty sure I talked about it this past October, but I still stand by that. So, in case I didn't talk about it, which I feel like I did, I I Think that talking about Ancestors whether it's your own ancestors or even ancestors that are part of the African-American history that I feel like that's a form of veneration and we're keeping their legacy, their life, their name, alive for future generations. So Don't ever think that, oh, I'm tired of learning and hearing about that person. You never know. You might learn something new. And remember we out you. Hoodoo, hoodoo. I get to the root of hoodoo. Conjure up thoughts that pop into my mind about spirituality. Come on, get this work. Water dancer by Tana Hisi coats. All right y'all.

Speaker 1: 12:10

I don't know who told me about this book, but I listen to it as I audio and I thoroughly enjoyed it. So this Is a synopsis of the book from the website Goodreads. Okay, so it's a Goodreads Choice Award nominee for best historical fiction 2019 and nominee for best debut novel 2019. Young Hiram Walker was born into bondage when his mother was sold away, hiram was robbed of all memory of her but was gifted with a mysterious power. Years later, when Hiram almost drowns in a river, the same power saves his life. This brush with death, births and urgency in Hiram and a daring scheme to escape from the only home he's ever known. So begins an unexpected journey that takes Hiram from the corrupt grandeur of Virginia's proud plantations to desperate guerrilla cells in the wilderness, from the coffin of the deep sea I mean, I don't know why I said deep sea deep south to dangerously idealistic movements in the north. Even as he's enlisted in the underground war between slaves and the enslaved, hiram's resolve to rescue the family he left behind endures.

Speaker 1: 13:25

This is the dramatic story of an atrocity inflicted on generations of women, men and children the violent and capricious separation of families and the war they waged to simply make lives with the people they loved. Written by one of today's most exciting thinkers and writers, the water dancer is a propulsive, transcendent work that restores the humanity of those from whom everything was stolen, and it was first published September 24, 2019, 416 pages. I cannot remember how many hours that translates to on my audible, but I, again, thoroughly enjoyed it, and I can't remember how many hours. But normally I stay leery when it comes to quote unquote, enslaving books, but from my memory, this one is not as traumatic to me as one might assume. It also, as expected, has bits of hoodoo. So and it of course talks about Harriet Tubman, all right. So of course I'm not going to tell the end, but I'm going to talk about this one scene.

Speaker 1: 14:30

So Hiram meets Harriet Tubman and she and she speaks about hoodoo sayings and they or old wives tales, because there was talking about a time when you do or don't slaughter a hog. And we learn in the book that the headaches Harriet Tubman endured in her real life was a spiritual gift she used to rescue the enslaved Africans. So of course, this book is not. This book has bits and pieces of history, of course, and I do recall because one hour called learning about Harriet Tubman she did have headaches and she was told when to leave and when not to leave and things of that nature, and so I find that interesting. All of us have spiritual gifts.

Speaker 1: 15:20

I personally believe, as a hoodoo practitioner, that Harriet Tubman she utilize her spirit, her spiritual gifts. I felt like I've talked about it before, where it appeared that she either had clairvoyance, which means clear scene, or clear cognizant, clear knowing, or maybe she had both. But in the book, which also aligns with what I've learned about Harriet Tubman, history is that she used her spiritual gifts to save people. Now, yes, she was a Christian and, as I've said countless times before, you can be a Christian and practice who do the Christianity that she practiced back then they probably want. Can you believe it? They probably wouldn't define her as a Christian now because she knew which plants to get to have the babies go to sleep.

Speaker 1: 16:13

As I saw somebody sick talk, she literally did not knock out the kids, the little babies, to keep them from crying. There are different flowers, plants, herbs out there that has. Well, I don't know about, I'm not very versed in it, but I do know that present day people use melatonin, but I'm pretty sure there's a plant or something similar like that where they could find it. So that helped. And then, of course, her using the sky to help her find the North Star and things of that nature. So, like to me, that was all her using her spiritual gifts. And that's pretty cool how, again, tana Hisi Coates had combined this fictional book with real history. That occurred. Alright.

Speaker 1: 17:04

So also in the book they had mentioned about conjuring and swamps and of course, don't quote me on everything, I don't really remember about it, but I could have sworn that there was a mention in the scene where it was like you know, if you want to get some stuff, some hoodoo carrier, then you would have to go to the swamp, because that's where the conjure person is. Again, don't quote me, it's been a minute. And another thing is, I think that they did a shout out to Yime Ya in the book as well, because water dancer. In the book there was this dance that the enslaved people would dance to and, if I'm not mistaken, they would hold a jug of water on the top of their head and use that to dance, and it wouldn't drop at all, and I think that that was also kind of like what they call Elays. Again, I'm not very versed with Eva, but I do know from my learnings that they'll sometimes have Elays in the Holy Ghost, as we call it, if you're a Christian and Black people. But it would actually be different Orishas that would come down, and so, of course, orisha of Water is Yime Ya, and so I think in the book during that time they would call Yime Ya and give like a quote-unquote offering to her of doing the dance. But the water dance was like something cool that was passed down within that community of people. So, like again for me, a great book. I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm always down to learn and hear about little snippets of who do within books, so hope that you read it, listen to it, or if you have read it or listen to it, let me know. But it's a good read, especially during this month of African American history.

Speaker 1: 19:08

Are you kink or not? I'm a proud kinkster at the BDSM community. Let me tell you about this lifestyle to see if you want to come over to the dark side. We got candles, alright. So last year I did not get a chance to talk about degradation, so here's your chance.

Speaker 1: 19:23

According to the website, kinkly, degradation or degradation kink refers to the consensual sexual demeaning and humiliation of one partner by another. It is a form of sadism and masochism that can take place between a dominant and a submissive in BDSM relationship. A degradation kink sits on the opposite end of the spectrum from a praise kink. The dominant partner can use verbal, psych, psychological or physically degraded acts such as insults and rough sex to embarrass the submissive. The submissive should be someone who is turned on and derives pleasure from receiving these acts from someone else. Anyone of any gender or sexual orientation can be into degradation or identifies having a degradation kink. There is limited research around why people enjoy this particular kind of play, but submissives themselves give various reasons, including the enjoyment of seat and control, the taboo nature of the activity and the contrast between the rough or unkind treatment and the tender aftercare that may follow.

Speaker 1: 20:29

All right, so, yeah, I think that's a great way to describe this. Now remember I had said that humiliation is like one level of Kink and then degradation is like another one above that. So I feel like there's three levels embarrassment, humiliation and degradation. Even though people use both words interchangeably, I don't think that they are the same. That's just my point of view. All right, so there are different ways to consensually degrade someone After you negotiate with their limits.

Speaker 1: 21:02

Please remember that you always have to negotiate and when it comes to participating in this type of kink, you definitely got to know somebody's limit. For example, somebody might be okay with you spanking them with your hand and calling them stupid, ugly, slut or something like that, but if you take a hairbrush and smack them on their ass stupid bitch, hoe or something like that then that might trigger something for them and they're like hell. No. So again, you have to negotiate every single thing that you always want to do, but especially this and, as it was said earlier, keep with the aftercare, because you're really, really, really going to need aftercare, and I do understand that some people have different types of aftercare, which is fine.

Speaker 1: 21:46

But going through something like this with depending on how quote unquote mean the dominant is, that could change your perception and if you've been in some type of abusive relationship before, that could trigger something as well. So, again, this is not something that you do for pick a plate at all. This is like you have to have an established relationship repertoire with the person on the given and receiving end. All right. So different ways that you can degrade someone consensually after you negotiate their limits you can spit on them, urinate on them, spank them verbally, degrade them and let's see oh and yeah. And there's other ways you can do, like orgasm withdrawal and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 22:29

It just depends because, again, there's different levels of embarrassment, humiliation and degradation to people. So let me give you the levels with more details. All right, again, I'm pretty sure I said this stuff, but you know it's been some months, all right. So if my sir would make me dance in front of people, knowing that I can dance, I'm embarrassed. I might even be humiliated, but I'm definitely embarrassed because it's like you know God damn well, I cannot dance for shit. Yeah, I can torque and make a move, but like that is not my thing to do that in front of somebody. So now, because I would be slightly concerned about how others would view me or if they're laughing me.

Speaker 1: 23:13

Now, to take it up a level, degradation could be him recording me dancing and sending it to people. Now again, the recording me dancing is consensual on both parties. Sending it to people so that they could possibly laugh, or something like that Could be a mind fuck one or number two, it could happen. But again you would have to ensure that the people are consenting from beginning to end. Everybody has to consent. So again, if someone is like, oh you know, I'm going to embarrass you and stuff like that and make you like get laughed at by your friends and stuff by sending you a picture of you twerking, oh my gosh, and stuff, and of course, as long as the consenting adults are okay with it, there's nothing wrong with it and stuff. And again, what might be humiliating, degrading, embarrassing to me might not be the same for someone else. Okay, so I've never I've had bits and pieces of degradation.

Speaker 1: 24:09

That doesn't happen that often with my sir because like he doesn't like to do that too much. He's okay with like embarrassing me or whatever like that and playing the mind games, but going too deep into my mind is something that he doesn't like to do. So let's see if I give you story time. So there was this time that I was around him and he called me a slut in front of his friend. I was livid, oh my gosh. Like I gave him this look, I didn't I allowed him to call me that, but I was like man, as soon as I'm like done playing, I'm going to get on his ass or whatever like that. And that's when I realized that that was part of the play and so we decided to to like let it be known that whenever I'm around him it's in submissive mode or whatever like that.

Speaker 1: 24:59

But, of course, which shows which should be the way that someone respond to let you know that they value how you feel is that he apologizing. He understood how I was coming from with feeling that way, but he was like letting me know, like you know you belong to me or my son or whatever like that, and I think you can be able to handle this or whatever. So it's not like he was like shut the fuck up and deal with it or whatever. It seems like he was open and understanding how they made me feel uncomfortable and stuff. And at that time now, from time to time when he wants to piss me off, I do not like being called a girl. Oh, my fucking goodness, I do not like it. So if I like annoy him or something like that, he'll call me girl.

Speaker 1: 25:44

Now, anybody else, I'm ready to curse them out. I like, especially if you know that I don't like to be called that. You know you get one chance to fuck up or whatever. So, anyway, to fuck with me or whatever he'll call me there from time to time, and of course I know that he's doing it to be petty and to be an asshole or whatever. But again, this is not something that's intentional or mean spirited or anything like that. Hopefully that makes sense and stuff like that. So, again, if that is something that you're interested in I can't stress it enough Make sure that everybody is consenting on both ends.

Speaker 1: 26:24

You have an understanding or repertoire conversation with these people and, at the very least, start out slow, whatever slow may mean, and then, I don't know, maybe like what, five to 15 minutes and then in the scene, if you're trying to degrade them in the scene or just veer off to us Another type of impact play or another type of play if you choose to, but definitely, if you're starting out, just make it real simple, as simple as you can, and then do your aftercare with them and then, when it's over with, check on them to see how they're doing and everything like that, because, again, the things that we do can be potentially dangerous and there are some kind of like.

Speaker 1: 27:08

It's is beyond my scope of learning, but there is, like you know, type of like chemicals that go, dopamine's all, all that stuff that goes into our mind and stuff when we're experiencing keek, that's one and number two, you never know what kind of trauma can be triggering. That's where the word mind field comes from, and stuff. So you always want to err on the side of caution and this part of play, if it's something that you're into, is not a sprint. Just you know, mosey your way to it. Well, I talked long enough. Q out.